Are you expecting your second child?
Are you worried about how your firstborn will react to the new arrival?
If so, you are not alone. It’s completely understandable to be concerned about the impact a new baby could have on your little one. All they’ve ever known is being the centre of your world and suddenly there is going to be someone else who requires a lot of your time and attention. Things are going to change and it could be hard on them for a while.
So here are our top tips for introducing a new sibling to help your big little one adjust to the change.
1 – Plan the first meeting
Wherever you plan to give birth, plan the first time your older child will meet your baby. Give them lots of love and attention first and then bring the baby in for a cuddle too. Try not to be holding the baby the first time they meet them.
2 – Prepare your visitors
Ask people to make a fuss of your older child as well as baby when they come to visit. A gift for an older sibling will help them to feel special as well as giving them something to do while you are feeding or changing the baby.
3 – Don’t start calling them ‘big’
It might be tempting to start referring to your older sibling as ‘my big boy/girl’ and expecting them to behave as such but this could be quite jarring for a child who has always been the baby of the family whose place has suddenly been taken by a new addition. It’s unhelpful if visitors say things like this too so you can prepare them before they visit.
4 – Get them their own baby to look after
It might be useful – and fun – to get your older child their own doll that they can care for while you are busy with the baby. They could change their nappy or feed them at the same time.
5 – Invest in a good sling
A good sling when you are caring for a newborn and a toddler is an absolute life-saver. You can pop baby in the sling where they’ll be happy to be close to you while your hands are free to play with your older child.
6 – Make a feeding box
It can be hard for older children to have to wait while you are feeding your baby and depending on how young they are they may not understand why you can’t play with them. Why not prepare a box of activities in advance that only come out when you are feeding baby to help keep them entertained. Remember to put it away once you’ve finished to keep the novelty factor going!
7 – Don’t ‘blame’ the baby
Try not to say phrases like ‘I can’t do that for you because I’m holding/feeding the baby’. Instead try phrases like ‘my hands are busy right now, I’ll help you as soon as I can’.
8 – Make time for 1-2-1s
If you are able to, try and have some regular one-on-one time with your older child even if it’s just an hour here and there. This will help you to reconnect with your older child and will help them to know that they are still special and loved. It can be hard to do this if you don’t have much in the way of support but even 10 minutes at bedtime will be enough.